The Lady Gaga Effect and the Last Gasp of Pop Music

Remember That Scene From "Alien"?

My Grandfather scoffed at The Beatles.

"What the hell are they doing with all that long hair?" he asked while my Mom and the rest of the family watched the lads from Liverpool perform on the Ed Sullivan show in 1963.

Obviously he was out of touch with the trends of the 1960s but then again he was 33 years old, a child of the depression and a die hard Hank Williams fan. He came from an era where men had short hair, Germans were called "Krauts" and the rest of the world fell in line thanks to society's rigid rules. So what if all John Lennon wanted to do was hold our hand? With hair like that you might as well not even lay a foot on his door step.

On the flip side, my Mom loved Paul the most.

"He was cute," she said. Simple as that.

Two people making a judgement on a band based on looks alone - funny thing is, it still hasn't changed.

Fast forward almost 50 years later and this same "old vs. new" generation debate is still going on, albeit in much more sloppier terms. Pop culture statements have moved past hair styles and morphed into something more gruesome and head-scratchingly bizarre.

Lady Gaga is the epitome of pop culture. Part Bowie, Madonna, Freddie Mercury, Britney Spears and bits and pieces of every genre in between, it seems as if the entire existent of pop music has built up to Gaga's very existence.

Her tunes are catchy and dance floor made, her sound is modernly retro, her fashion is outrageous yet pointless, her antics boggle the mind but endear her to her fans at the same time. She's a monster of music and a powerhouse of pop, but she's also bound to be the last great pop icon.

Where do we go from here? When a multi platinum selling artist gushes fake blood all over themselves at the VMAs, sets her lovers on fire while smoking a cigarette in her videos, vaguely exposes her breasts whenever she tries to make a fashion statement, yet still sells over 12 million records (a huge feat given the fact that no one buys music anymore) and gets her songs stuck in your head, how does someone else top it?

Gaga is the perfect balance of melody and mayhem. My friend Dave Beauchene, who contributes to The Hanging Tree, once said Lady Gaga is almost is if Britney Spears and Marilyn Manson had a kid. It's the perfect - and only - analogy that ever seems to work for her.

Those outside of the Gaga camp are taking notes and starting to emulate the weirdness to laughably lackluster results. Miley Cyrus is currently dressing up like a bird decked out in leather while proclaiming she "Can't Be Tamed" even though she's still a dog on a leash for Disney. Christina Aguilera's new album "Bionic" is filled with song after song of Gaga rip offs about electric sex. Sure Gaga may all be an act like Cryus' and Xtina's, but at least her act seems genuine (for the most part).

Neo-goth electric fuzz produced by young 20 something women is in. It's all of a sudden become the cool thing to see young girls proclaim their independence through the most slutted-out form of feminism you've ever seen. Ke$ha gives blowjobs on her way to the top, Rihanna gets beat in the face, Lady Gaga simply creeps us out. Pick your poison I suppose.

Sure the times might be good for young starlets, but I'm curious to see what will happen next. Is there only so much pointless weirdness we will take? Or are we made more and more desensitized and numb to the modern freak generation?

Lady Gaga has found the magic formula to the big time, yet she's destroying the old model simultaneously leaving us bewildered and pop left in shambles. Crazy for crazy's sake can only carry you so far. So get your kicks now, and dance one last time to the sound of popular culture slowly caving in on itself from the weight of its own extravagances and ambitions.

At least her hair looks cute right?

Tom Cruise and The Black Eyed Peas (The Conundrum)

You should call it Rappin' Impossible!

So in case you haven't heard (and are therefor woefully uninformed of important world events) Tom Cruise showed up at Black Eyed Peas concert very recently. Not to it; in it - on stage. Singing. For you to understand what a problem this posed my brain, try to imagine if you saw picture, on TV or something, of Ghandi launching manatees from a giant catapult, and it was proven to be real. I'm a Tom Cruise fan, with some degree of irony, yes (of course) but still - he's one of my favorite people to watch on film. And he was on stage with the Black Eyed Peas, the people who have single handedly made me avoid FM radio for the past 7 years.

How do these things happen? Oh, it doesn't help to consider it. Obviously Tom must be a fan enough to - I've learned- request the Peas make a special appearance on the soundtrack of his new movie. And of course this should denote that he make an appearance at one of their shows. Obviously, obviously. What I can't work out is how exactly to feel about it.

I've watched the videos, barely, through slits between my fingers. It is simultaneously the most emberassing and exciting thing I've seen all year. I mean, just imagine it. You're at a concert of, presumably, one of your favorite musical groups, jumping and singing along, when through a downpour of confetti appears some guy you've never...HOLY CRAP, TOM CRUISE! I'd have gone immediately and permenantly cross-eyed. In fact, if I ever become a platinum recording artist (in two or three years, I'd guess) I plan to get as many celebrity appearances in order as possible. Loads of them. Nick Nolte just eating cereal out on a catwalk. Joe Pesci on wires flying over the audience. The entire cast of Family Matters, in costume, dancing like crazy. Etc. But anyway.

Maybe you don't even like Tom Cruise. Not the point. Tom Cruise suddenly being front and center at a concert, performing, is...notable. If you do like him and you'd never in a million years go to that concert, it's...troubling. In an interview where Tom sat directly beside Peas frontman Will.I.Am, Cruise discussed his meeting with Will at the Super Bowl, and the brilliant comparisons he drew for him between his new movie Knight and Day and the music of the Black Eyed Peas. For instance: Knight and Day has a girl. Also, it has all the spirit of the Black Eyed Peas.

I won't go after the first one; we all say less than prestinely developed things on the spot. The second matter bothers me. The Black Eyed Peas have shown spirit in so far as producing some of the most awkward, stupid sounding music I've ever heard. Knight and Day, however potentially corny, clearly brings the goods, action wise. It's in order. Tom Cruise brings the goods. Even when he's in sub-fantastic films. Even if he doesn't know it. "I Gotta Feeling" is rubbish to the core. And yet Tom had no problem singing it to 30 thousand people, as he explained he'd sung it plenty at home - so he knew all the words. All six of them.

Ehhhh...

All of this reminds me of Bono's appearance with Jay-Z months back, where, in a sudden explosion of bolderity, Bono went into some kind of strangely timed, hugely emberassing rapping. Likewise, I'm a very big fan of this person, and likewise it is with a certain grain of salt. I know he can be utterly preposterous, but that's part of the fun. It's part of the fun to know that Tom Cruise probably believes he can do any stunt on any movie at any time - that he's Not down to earth, except in niceness. But now and then their excentricities go off cock-eyed, and I'm not sure I want to like them anymore. I'm not sure I can. Perhaps it's best to remember that even your favorite celebrities are incompotent dumbasses in some way or another.


By Dave Beauchene

Michael Jackson Museum Coming To Gary

A $300 million Michael Jackson museum and arts center could possibly break ground next year in the late performer's hometown of Gary, Indiana.

Michael's father, Joe Jackson, along with Gary officials announced plans for the facility which could potentially bring an estimated $100-$150 million, as well as new jobs, to the city.

Jackson visited Gary in 2003 to announce plans for the museum, yet nothing ever materialized before his death last year at the age of 50.

"This is a happy day for me because this is something that my family and Michael have always wanted," Joe Jackson said. "We're bringing something back."

Review: Christina Aguilera - Bionic

Cue the Lady Gaga impersonations. You would expect this kind of thing out of Rihanna and Miley Cyrus, who have already taken a crack at the Marilyn Manson / Catwoman outfits with techno tunes about being "fierce" or "independent" or whatever the current crop of pop divas are in to these days. But Christina Aguilera? Someone who was around when Clinton was still in office and Britney Spears's sister wasn't even an after thought - let alone a mother? Can we really take her seriously, after shape shifting from teen idol, to dirrrty girl, to jazz temptress? Can all this new leather and sadomasochistic tendencies, along with glitter synths and glitzy beats on her latest effort, Bionic, bring back the new car smell of a decade ago?


The answer, with a resounding thud, is no. Aguilera still likes to tease the boys with songs about getting drunk and kissing girls even at times forgoing the foreplay to simply demand the boys(z) to take their clothes off, but she does so while restricting her bombastic vocal styling. Always give Christina credit for having a set of pipes that helped her to stick out in the thick stew of late 90s teen acts. But here she buries her voice under gaudy amounts of techno and fuzz making her nothing more than a mediocre Gaga rip off at best.

The first half of the album is nothing but interchangeable and forgettable songs about good times, alcohol binges and orgies. Aguilera claims to be a prima dona on the song of the same name, but you can't help but laugh at the half assed attempt at "strong woman hood". The remaining segments of Bionic are sappy ballads filled with laughably cheesy ad libs and titles like "Sex For Breakfast" which features the classic line "When the morning comes I know I will too". Uh... yum?

Grade: D

Review: Jack Johnson - To The Sea

Hawaiian skies, crystal clear oceans, sand in your toes, Sex in the City themed drinks and banana pancakes, one can't blame former surfer Jack Johnson for being rock n roll's best beach bum. For close to a decade he's pumped out album after album about the joys of living it easy while chillaxin' in his favorite hammock. Just think of him as musical Tylenol for the Bush years.

Yet the time would come for Johnson to write songs for the 40 hour work week and the headaches of life away from the honeymoon. 2008's Sleep Through The Static was Johnson's first step in to the "terrible twos" as it were. The album was filled with songs of fear, war and violence, yet the music was too timid to really bring the edge it so desperately needed.

To The Sea is a more balanced effort come complete with tunes about love, growing pains and the occasional heartache. Johnson has ditched the beach for more tangible songs about fluttering hearts as well as the growing pains which come along for the ride.

With more realistic lyrics and electric guitar flourishes we've not yet heard from him, To The Sea is often times Johnon's most earnest and well rounded effort to date. Current single "You And Your Heart" features a subtle, and groundbreaking by his soft strumming standards, electric riff which works as a foundation for the piano and acoustic workings of previous songs. Sure the additions may be modest, but it's just enough to make it interesting - at least for a few listens.

Yet when there is feast, it's followed by famine. Almost the entire last third of the album is nothing more than rehashed fodder from records of yesteryear. But the worst part is the fact that Johnson seems to be failing at his own game. His melodies seem stunted and his musicianship light years beyond stale. Die hards and the Spicoli crowd may eat it up, but as always, it's a light meal that never satisfies.

Grade: C-

Key Tracks: "You And Your Heart" "At Or With Me" "Pictures Of People Taking Pictures"

Review: Janelle Monae - The ArchAndroid

Concept albums by there very definition are sprawling, often incomprehensible and bloated affairs. Sure the music is supposed to resonate with some kind of "human suffering" or any other interchangeable universal theme, but often times the only person who knows what they are singing about are the writers and composers themselves.


Everyone from The Beatles to Beyonce have put out their own conceptual pieces each to varying results. At times they are parody made (Meatloaf's Bat Out Of Hell), wonderfully disjoint (The Who's Quadrophenia) or incredibly biographical (Pink Floyd's The Wall). 


Yet the art of the concept album has dwindled along with the sales of CDs. People don't want to sit around while they dissect album artwork and song lyrics anymore. With most music being purchased through wi-fi connections and the essence of the "album" in it's traditional sense being lost, why make a concept most will never bother to look for anyway?


Janelle Monae, an up and comer from Kansas City, has made the first, and new model, for the concept album of the 21st century with her debut album The ArchAndroid. Ambitiously messy, uncompromisable and incomprehensible, yet completely earnest and memorable for it's encompassing musical landscape, Monae has made a landmark electro pop effort that shows Lady Gaga where to put her rhinestone breasticles.


The album is a blend OutKast freak-rap, Lauryn Hill soulful sorrows, Gnarls Barkley waling and Kubrick sci-fi adventures. Inspired by Fritz Lang's ground breaking 1927 film Metropolis, the record is an hour long tale about a messianic android who... ya know what, it doesn't matter. You'll never grasp what she's really trying to say beneath the glitter and shine of the production. At least Monae knows so and focuses on piecing together an album of one solid tune after another.


Almost every subgenre of R&B is experimented with and turned on its head to glorious results. Whether getting her freak on a la James Brown on "Tightrope", made all the more funky by an appearance from Big Boi,  visiting her Whitney Houston youth in "Locked Inside" or meshing Radiohead compressed vocals with Danger Mouse hypnotics on "Mushrooms and Roses", Monae zig zags from one musical pallet to the next in effortless fashion.


The music may be a bumpy ride for some and the lack of a singular musical vision may put off some critical purists, but what this 24 year-old songstress had done has pushed the bounds of what popular music is for the iPod generation. Miley may try to wear leather, Rhianna may look like Catwoman, and Gaga may be the best Marylin Manson rip off of all time, but Miss Monae has made an album that is greater than the sum of its parts. There is just enough of something for everyone to sink their teeth in to and keep them coming back for a more rewarding listen. Indie kids and Ke$ha fans are all welcomed.


While The ArchAndroid may go under the radar all year long, it's destined to become one of the defining pop albums for this decade. Much like Kid A dared to be great in 2000, Monae has already set the bar high for an arms race of powerful music and bad ass head wear.


Grade: A+


Key Tracks: "Locked Inside" "Cold War" "Wondaland"

Dio Funeral Picketed By Hate Church

Late metal vocalist Ronnie James Dio's funeral took place today in Los Angeles and was attended by members of Black Sabbath Queensryche as well as protested by members of the Westboro Baptist Church.

The church, located in Kansas City, has become famous over the past several years for the picketing of American soldier's funerals while carrying signs declaring "God Hates Fags" and "God Is America's Terrorist".

Founded by Fred Phelps in 1955, the church, mainly made up of Phelp's large family, declared Dio was a worshiper of Satan in part for creating the infamous "devil horn" hand gesture.

Dio's wife, and manager, Wendy issued the following statement in regards to the protest.

"Ronnie hates prejudice and violence. We need to turn the other cheek on these people that only know how to hate someone they don't know."

Dio passed away earlier this month at the age of 67 from stomach cancer.

Watch the video for Dio's most famous tune, "Holy Diver", below.

Paramore Singer Goes Topless On Twitter

Hayley Williams, vocalist for emo band Paramore, woke up to find her Twitter account hacked, as well as a nude photo of her posted online for all 600,000 of her followers to see. Oops.

The photo shows the red headed songstress looking into the camera while laying down topless on a bed. Some have speculated whether or not the account in question was hacked, or rather if Williams accidentally posted the picture herself.

I'm of the opinion it would be in poor taste to post the photo or any link to it here on The Hanging Tree, but if you really want to find the picture in question, the Internet can be awfully useful I suppose. 

Kanye West Flexes His "Power"

Kanye West has been hard at work on his fifth studio album, titled Good Ass Job, scheduled for release later this summer. However the song "Power" has found it's way on the internet and works as a hell of a teaser for what else is to come.

West sounds as angry as ever and rips himself to pieces when he says "Lost in translation with a whole fuckin' nation / They say I was the abomination of Obama's nation, well that's a pretty down way to start the conversation."

The song features a sample of "21st Century Schizoid Man" by King Crimson and finds a healthy absence of auto-tune as well. Listen to "Power" below.

K p by user9196076

Preference As Fact - The Nickelback Phenomenon

It can be truly hard, sometimes, to respect artistic preference as a matter of subjecticity. Truly hard. As Rob says in High Fidelity, how can it be bullshit to state a preference? And as Barry responds, when it's the wrong preference, then it's bullshit. I feel I've matured a lot when it comes to respecting other people's points of view, and playing down the seriousness of my own. I don't think Kubrick is God anymore, and I don't necessarily think Michael Bay is the devil. It's just that I agree with Barry, somewhere. Michael Bay is a bad director, and to think otherwise is, just, wrong. 

They look about how they sound.

Lets take a classic example: Nickelback. It is almost universally agreed that Nickelback is crap, so unanimously, in fact, that I have seen ads for contests prizing Nickelback concert tickets and actually wondered, "but for who?". Who in this world actually, really likes Nickelback? But sure enough, lots of people like Nickelback; they just happen to be on the other side of a preferential perspective with a gradient edge steeper than the broad side of the Sears Tower - meaning, in one box is a group of people who will not even discuss their musical value, and in another directly beside it is a group who have never felt the need to.

This would be easy to dismiss as a matter of mere different strokes, if it weren't for the feeling that the Nickelback fan is simply short of some kind of comprehension. And, honestly, is it a mutual feeling? I don't think so. I don't think fans of Nickelback stringently believe that anti-fans just don't get it. They're just annoyed when someone says they suck. Like for me, when I run across someone who avidly dislikes U2, I do not think they've missed something. I uphold that they simply don't like them, and I do, and I don't know why. Their opinions are not so polite.

And yet I do not feel that liking U2 is anything close to liking Nickelback. I believe that U2 are technically and substantially Better than Nickelback, by a lot, and that even if my band has their blind-spots (which I'm certain they do) Nickelback is blindfolded in the forret, on rollerskates. Even my friend Matt and I, who maintain very different feelings about Bono, agree that Nickelback is, by any means, not even in the same category. Not even close.

I will do my best to discuss and define why I believe Nickelback is a very bad band. I know very little about musical composition, but I know when art is sold on cheap, stupid, uncreative gimmicks - the artistic equivalent to a logical fallacy, such as an appeal to emotion. In this case, an arguer would, instead of focussing on a sound and valid argument, misdirect the listener into an emotional response. Of course in Art, emotional responses are where its at, and if Nickelback's sound does it for you then no one should try to convince you otherwise. It's just that a severely post-produced vocalist, who's sound is so trite and obvious and bombastic and clearly re-touched, being one of the core stimuluses for the listener...it doesn't imply a great deal of musical value.

"Lets see you make 5 notes sound like a symphony, smart ass."

It comes of as easy, thoughtless trickey, that worst of all, does not even believe it is trickery. That carries on doing the same, stupid, boring, obnoxious thing over and over as though it were actually creating. Now, anyone could fall for it; music majors might not be immune to the appeal, it's just that it's unlikely. It is likely that Nickelback most easily connects with people who have no kind of mental stock in music. And that's fine. I likewise believe that while U2 is really, really great at what they do, are not necessarily for music buffs. Here and there, in areas of popular rock study, they are, but their entire catalog? No, that's meant for people like me. It's just that it takes more to trick me, I think. The Edge makes sounds bigger than what he's playing, but there are so, so many ways he's done this. However projective his sound, it is almost always a creative, expansive thing.

Likewise for a band like Blink 182, that was largely accesible to the popular listener, and was often lobbed into the same category with bands like Good Charlette and Yellow Card and New Found Glory and Simple Plan. I think there was something real going on with Blink 182 and I think they brought something valuable to music, however minor. I think those other four bands are for idiots, hard as I try to be nice about it. I think they were beyond horrible, and while I respect and defend your right to enjoy everything any of them ever did, I am extremely skeptical of discussing their merrit. I cannot bring myself to fathom that their biggest fans know something I simply do not.

This only gets harder when it comes to movies. Again, I know that some of my favorite films are not brilliant and perhaps pack a number of notable flaws. I know that my preferences are, in fact, personal, and not universal, but I believe they have been better honed by more practice and and greater engagement than someone's who thinks 2001 is a bunch of crap, or that The Boondock Saints is as good as Pulp Fiction. I believe it with a security that "knowing" just can't touch. And I'll discuss it to prove it. What I have no tolerance for is preference as evidence. I am sick of people claiming blatantly inferior stuff is great simply because they say so. I am tired of people on movie sites going "Well I though Tranformers was great. Michael Bay is a way better director than the haters say." Everybody has a right to their own voice; not everyone belongs in a serious debate.

I'll pay Nickelback one line of credit: however accute their range, they have created a number of catchy melodies, however unpleasant to my palet, and that's...something. For you or someone you know it might be enough. Enough ain't the same as good, though, and it surely never will be. 

By Dave Beauchene 

Review: Macgruber

MacGruber was pretty good, for what it was. I know that term is constantly being used to answer for the fact that the critic is talking about the four hundred and twelfth movie of the year they've felt nothing much about, but it seems to fit McGruber especially well. Who is expecting a comedy classic out of McGruber? No one. If you've seen the sketch, you might imagine that a lot of the running time will be devoted to stupid, insensitive, crude jokes, some of which might be funny. You'd be dead on.

MacGruber isn't awful smart, or ambitious, but it's pretty well aware of this. Unlike, for instance, Talladega Knights, that indulged it's every even minor quirk as fodder for the longest stream of jokes possible, Macgruber knows what it's material is actually worth: a cringe and maybe a laugh. It's lowbrow, and it knows it, and that's all it's got. That can be fun, right? Unless it gets crass or mean spirited, sometimes it's fun to sit with an audience emberassed and amazed at what's goin on on screen. I must concede, personally, that it can be, as at least three times was I curled over dieing with laughter.

A lot of it's jokes are to be laughed at, rather than with, in the same sense that the faces your friend made across the classroom are to be laughed at rather than with. The punchlines most often come on downbeats, so its quiet, and you're trying not to cut loose what may be a less than gorgeous explosion of laughter. And others are too. And the punchline keeps coming. And it's funny. Make no mistake, it's an R rated movie, and it's no comedy classic, but neither is it the crudest or least funny movie ever. And it flies by. I liked it, for what it was.

6/10

By Dave Beauchene 

The Arcade Fire Announce "The Suburbs"

After a relatively quiet down period, Canadian indie gods, The Arcade Fire announced their new album on their web site today.

The Suburbs will hit stores August 3rd state side. The band is already offering pre-orders for the disc in digital, CD and vinyl formats that all come with two complimentary singles for instant streaming. Luckily I already found them for you. Listen to "The Suburbs" and "Month Of May" below.

SO STOKED!

"The Suburbs"

"Month Of May"

Vampire Weekend Go On "Holiday", Slated For "Eclipse Soundtrack"

Vampire Weekend go glitzy and "Amadeus-Tastic" in their latest video for "Holiday".  Vocalist Ezra Koening and company rock their best powdered wigs in the glorious L.A. sunshine. Watch the video below.

The band have also been slated for the upcoming soundtrack for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse featuring The Dead Weather, Beck and many others. Listen to "Jonathan Low" below as well.

"Holiday"

Vampire Weekend - New Music - More Music Videos

"Jonathan Low"

Vw by c87157

The White Stripes Help Flood Victims

The White Stripes are helping the flood relief efforts in Nashville by auctioning off a custom made marimba used for the Get Behind Me Satan tour of 2005.

Jack White, who currently calls the Music City his home, has his record label and recording studio, Third Man Records, headquartered in the soggy metro.

All proceeds go to the Nashville chapter of the Red Cross, watch "The Nurse" below, and click here for info on the auction.

Live Review: Them Crooked Vultures

The only, and best, analogy I can use for super groups is that of making an elephant fly with a rocket. Sure it may go far, but does it ever go far enough?

Them Crooked Vultures are the only exception from the last three decades of failed attempts at super stellar greatness, and they showed why Monday night at the Egyptian Room in Indianapolis. 

Made up of Josh Homme on vocals and guitar(Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss), Dave Grohl on drums (Nirvana, Foo Fighters), and John Paul Jones on bass (Led Zeppelin), the trio shifted and swayed their way through a 90 minute set comprising of all known recorded songs by the band. 

Opening song "No One Loves Me, & Neither Do I" may have given away their best groove tune and dance anthem too soon, but it was Homme's 37th birthday which gives him the right to do what he pleases. 

The Vultures spread their wings early on in the night with "Scumbag Blues" stretching the song into a jam reminiscent of Cream. John Paul Jones made bass solos look so easy all while Homme crooned in his signature falsetto. 

Jones is the master musician of the group. Variously strings basses, mandolin, clavinova, keyboard, keytar (yes... keytar) and violin were all played flawlessly and seamlessly by the virtuoso who adds splashes of color to Homme and Grohl's dismal riffs and rhythms. 

Grohl, looking spritely for a werewolf, reminded everyone just how belligerently blunt he can be behind a drum kit. Whether pounding out disco beats for "Gunman" or weaving his way in and out of triple time on "Warsaw", he knew no bounds and relentlessly hammered his way through the night. 

While Homme and Grohl are set to return to their respective bands this fall, Them Crooked Vultures played a new tune "You Can't Possibly Begin To Imagine" which showed why there should be a Vultures round two. A dark, swampy blues jam reminiscent of Queens circa Lullabies To Paralyze, it's a seven minute epic in three parts that finds this band meshing over more into a singular unit. 

Yet if there is no future for this band, at least they speak volumes to what any group, let alone a super one, should be. Heavy, grandiose, groovy and not afraid to sport a ginger as a front man.

Set List:

1. No One Loves Me Neither Do I
2. Gunman
3. Scumbag Blues
4. Dead End Friends
5. Elephants 
6. Highway 1
7. New Fang
8. Bandoliers
9. Interlude With Ludes
10. Mind Eraser, No Chaser
11. Caligulove
12. You Can't Possibly Begin To Imagine
13. Spinning In Daffodils
14. Reptiles
15. Warsaw Or The First Breath You Take After Giving Up

Ronnie James Dio Dies

Consequence of Sound is reporting the passing of famed heavy metal vocalist Ronnie James Dio who succumbed to a six month battle with stomach cancer today at the age of 67.

Dio's wife, Wendy, issued the following statement.

"Today my heart is broken, Ronnie passed away at 7:45 a.m. 16th May. Many, many friends and family were able to say their private goodbyes before he peacefully passed away. Ronnie knew how much he was loved by all. We so appreciate the love and support that you have all given us. Please give us a few days of privacy to deal with this terrible loss. Please know he loved you all and his music will live on forever."

Dio is most famous for replacing Ozzy Osbourne in Black Sabbath in 1979. He also fronted the band Rainbow, featuring Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple.

He had recently planned to tour this summer with the band Heaven And Hell featuring some members of Black Sabbath however plans were cancelled given the severity of Dio's illness.

Perhaps the greatest testament to Dio's legacy is his creation of the famous "devil horn" hand gesture. Frat boys and metal heads everywhere will always involuntarily pay tribute to him forever.

Watch Dio's video for "Holy Diver" below.

Horror Movies Are Not Fun

You know what there aren't enough of? Fun horror movies. Not unless you're totally fractured upstairs - and I hold to that qualification. I refuse to budge on it. If your idea of a good time is watching a bunch of fictional people be brutalized and murdered, get help. Don't stop until you find it. You're not right.

Because that's what, oh, say, 99% of horror cinema tends to be: people being killed; sometimes by the ghost of a groundskeeper who was wrong by earlier tenants! But mostly by just anyone. Long ago, the murderous character had some mystery to be found out, which was quite the point of the whole story. The death or threat of, was fuel for the suspense of the story. That part's gone now. We've parried it down to just the killing bits.

Oh but they're very creative killing bits. So, you know, it sort of makes up for it.

No, it doesn't. It shows just how little imagination, kindness, optimism and ambition a story teller has. So there's this guy, see, and, like, he has one minute to saw his own foot off! Cause, ya know, he didn't, uh, value his life, or something. Anyway, One Minute! To Saw that baby Right Off! Yeah, think of that!

Of course Horror is meant to imply some, you know, Horror, and surely that's not as trite a thing as skeletons and goblins going "boo". Threat of the unknown monster, even the unknown monster who is sure to take the life of its victim, is universal matter of human lore - something indelible from our narrative consciousness. The "monster" is part of the collective human psyche.

TURNS IT OFF! TURNS IT OFF!

But do so many of these movies have to be utter burrowings into the most disgusting, awful places and experiences possible, with no hope or chance of returning to the light? What the hell is the point, honestly? Nothing necessary or humane; it's all too exploitive. If any of the things that happen in the average horror movie were to happen to anyone we know, we'd be suitibly horrified of the world for great stretches of time. It would not be exciting or entertaining; it would be the truest of hells.

It might be argued that our more and more "realistic" or "gritty" horror films are some response by the artistic community, some reflection of the real world and how we feel about it, but I don't buy that. I do not buy that the people who made "Captivity" (don't bother looking into it) have something important to say about those horrible matters of innocent captives for sadistic purposes. They prey on warry fascination; they solve nothing of it. They have no need or desire to.

And frankly I'm sick of it. Just before writing this note, I looked into a movie called "The House of The Devil" which I had heard had been a good, suspenseful horror film, light on gore. I read the synopsis on imdb. It is not a fun movie, I'm quite positive, not even if the suspense is really, really good. It dive-bombs directly into ugliness like all the others.

I get that there's some kind of thrill to be had of shock-value, for some. I get how it works. And yet I don't get how anyone can sit through a horror movie these days without feeling sick and dirty for days. It's not that I don't think movies should be able to contain the things they contain; movies should contain whatever they need to. But a film without a real meaning has no right to anything. That's the terrific irony: horror hounds claim their flicks defend substance, when in fact they could not be less interested in it. At this point, neither could I. 


By Dave Beauchene

The Dark Knight Vs. Batman Returns

I don’t think there’s much point debating which Batman movie is the best (especially if you’ve got any kind of life) even if you’ve been less than enamored with the most recent incarnation. The Dark Knight is a truly good motion picture, filled with great actors, terrific thematic depths, and pinned into place by a smart, adventurous screenplay. It resonates on a real level, despite its semi-farcical inspiration. Lets not quibble over the seriousness of comic books; they’re comic books. For better or worse, they portray a surreal world. The Dark Knight is arguably the first comic book film to feel like a real world movie. It aims higher, and for more serious things. And it hits the bulls eye.

*Owwwwwwwwnaaaagggggggggggge*

But I still like Batman Returns the best, personally. I laugh more, thrill more, am more giddy about the whole experience of watching it than I am The Dark Knight. This may be less so today, but if we’re judging by both film’s fresh-faced hay days, Returns was more than double the experience Dark Knight was. This has a lot to do with the ages at which I experienced either, but even if Knight had been released in 1992, I doubt I would have been as consumed by it.

And, well, that’s got to say something for Returns, doesn’t it? In the end, there’s no denying that preference has some stake in verifiable values, however vaguely conceived, and the fact is that not everything we enjoy is a matter of random preference. I liked Batman Returns for countless reasons, few of which I believe were accidental.

So, while the Dark Knight certainly deserved an Academy Award nomination I would not have expected for Returns, I want to see how the two films stack up in terms of the basic elements. Pound for pound, who’s got what on who? According to me.

Sets and Scenery.
This may seem like an obvious point for Burton (then again, it might not) but The Dark Knight really channeled an amazing vibe out of Chicago’s urban landscape. The clip of Batman standing nearly atop the Sears tower, very recently the tallest building on earth, in the late evening just before the sky has fallen fully black, is pitch perfect – something I envisioned years ago on a my first visit, because I'm a huge, huge dork.

Burton’s Gotham is, for the most part, an artificial creation, and takes no cues in terms of its identity. For that, it deserves some serious credit, as it holds up as a fairly consistent world and delivers an atmosphere that is truly in keeping with its title. It’s just that it doesn’t feel, at times, as grand as DK. While some sets and models amaze, others feel mild or even cramped. Draw


Cars.
The Dark Knight did everything better than its predecessor, as far as I’m concerned, and that includes the Batmobile. Sure it’s the same, massive, indescript hunk of metal as Begins, but it fits better this time. It’s more striking and colorful in its usage.

But, look, if you could have one of these two babies for the day, which would you choose? Yes, yes, the tumbler from Knight would be cool in its own way, but heads would turn for miles in all direction the moment Burton’s Batmobile wound up on pedestrian streets. It’s a fantastic, iconic machine that, frankly, has more entertainment up its sleeve than Knight’s tumbler had to offer, just. Edge: Returns


Batcave.
As Knight finds Bruce Wayne in a make-shift headquarters and Returns puts little emphasis on the caped crusader’s under-ground trappings, I’m calling it a draw.Draw 

Batsuits 

It’s nice that Knight made the effort to be realistic down to the tiniest detail by allowing Batman to turn his head by way of a costume update, but it looks silly. I’m sorry. He looks like he’s wearing a big, bulbous helmet. Return’s Batman may not have turned his head much but…it worked. He wasn’t fidgety; his motions were brief, fast, and effective, and otherwise he was still. The cape hung round the shoulders and over chest, giving him a specter-like quality that removed the character that much further from Bruce Wayne. 
Edge: Returns

Villain/Accomplice:
Catwoman – flat out. Dent was good (although came off a little awkward here and there “But Your Honor, I’m not done?”) and his transformation into two face was well played (he should have given Bale voice acting lessons) but Pfeifer owned Catwoman on both ends and produced a truly creepy yet vulnerable character. She held her own with the two other leads, and in this case that’s saying quite a lot.
Edge: Returns

Score:
I will say this: both scores are perfectly, perfectly tailored to their respective film. Elfman’s compositions scatter and twirl and soar with the action on screen, perfectly calling out ominous pieces of silence or shattering moments of destruction, and Zimmer, well, the guy is the number one score-man in Hollywood for a reason. His Dark Knight score is a marvelously understated work you’re not meant to notice, really, the first time. I certainly didn’t. Only re-watching the film recently did I notice how well it supports what’s onscreen. But Elfman’s Batman theme is one of the most recognizable pieces of score in contemporary cinema. 
Edge: Returns

Villain
Before stating the obvious, lets take a moment to realize that Danny Devitto’s penquin was a pretty radical characterization, gross and ridiculous, scary and weird. Loads of fun. And nowhere even close to how great a thing Heath Ledger’s Joker continues to be. The Joker is not simply one of the best movie villains in history, but one of the most entertaining, engaging characters of all time. Without him, Dark Knight wouldn’t have been half the film it was. 
Edge: Knight

Commisioner Gordon:

I always liked the original Gordon, but Gary Oldman drew the character into the story with real meaning and momentum. He meant something to the Dark Knight; in Returns, he’s just a fixture. 
Edge: Knight

Alfred:
Michael Gough’s Alfred is a charming guy, but, as with Gordon, he’s merely a prop in Returns. The Dark Knight, for one thing, has Michael Frigging Caine (His formal title) taking the role, and as a sharp follow up, allows him to weigh-in the film’s moral undertones in a right ducky cockney accent. No contest. 
Edge: Knight

Plot:
Batman returns does a really great job of delivering a really not great story. Honestly, I’m not even that clear on what the movie is actually about; for me, it’s always been about how awesome Batman is, how cool Gotham looks, and how much the Penguin loves that raw fish. Something about a corrupt run for mayor? I dunno. The Dark Knight, on the other hand, is a mamouth tapestry of twists, turns, and moral dilemma, and while repeated viewing has lowered my initial regard for its construction, it’s still something to seriously admire.
Edge: Knight


Gadgets and Tricks
Ya know, while the technical lasooing of the Joker’s eighteen wheeler in Knight is cool in theory, it’s never really hit me the way I think it was meant to. Contrast this with a (suspiciously) similar moment in returns, where Batman fires a length of wire into the wall beside a henchman’s head, then flat out yanks a chuck of cement out of the building into the rear of his skull. Improbable? Sure, but a surer punch-line.

Knight does have a truly cool moment, however, when the downed Batmobile begins to rattle, then emits (WHOA!) the Batbike into the streets of Gotham, returning the caped crusader to the chase. Similar to the moment in Returns when the Batmobile sheds multiple layers in order to(WHOA!) fit down a precariously narrow alley way. Improbable, in both cases, but fun.


I wasn’t much for the sonar vision used at the end of Knight, however. It fails to really come across in an engaging way, and Freeman’s voice-over instruction, can you believe it, comes off like narration. So it comes down to something both movies share: the bat, er, glider-thing. Both films find bats leaping off a building, spreading his cape, and riding the wind like an expert hang-glider. They both get points for fun, here, but the edge, I think, goes to Knight.
Edge: Knight

Action Scenes
The Dark Knight showed how much further Nolan has come as an action director, delivering really slick, fun scenes, the pinnacle of which is a chase through, and under, and around, the city’s streets. Still, the first arrival of Batman himself is paltry in Knight when compared with the swallow-your-tongue-if-you’re-under-ten coolness of Return’s opener. And while its third-act finale is, uh, a little silly, the midway street fight and following roof battle is all the fun I could have asked for as an eight year old theater goer.
Edge: Returns

Batmen:
When I first heard that Bale would be taking the role, I though: good; he kinda looks like a Bruce Wayne, I guess. It’s too bad, however, that he carries next to zero presence in, or command of the batsuit. The first time we were supposed be aware that a mere man was running around in a suit and cape; the second round it should be less apparent. Also, the voice is, as has been well documented by now, terrible. Horrible.

Keaton owned the batsuit in the same way Ledger owned the makeup and purple suit; you’d never cast him yourself, but amazingly there exists a place in this person that IS the character – that is miles ahead of the audience in terms of what they’re ready to do. True, Ledger gave more of a performance in his role, but one should not take for granted how hard it must be “work” from within 95% body coverage. You can brood and shout, like Bale, or you can, apparently, attune your very soul to the costume. Keaton was aware of every nuance he was portraying with The Suit, and it shows. If I ran into his Batman on the street, even today, I’d flat out believe it for at least a minute. 
Edge: Returns


So, in the end, the addition rests on the side of Returns, which is some consolation. What this proves is not only that I am intuitively very, very wise about film, but that you can botch a costume and lead character, but if you nail the script and supporting cast, you've got every chance of making the best film in a franchise.


By Dave Beauchene